


Forgive Me Father, For I Have Sinned

by cmyatt01



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, But he is not the son of Rhaegar, Daario Naharis & Daenerys Targaryen (one sided), Daario is a Douche Canoe, Dany is a refugee, Drogo is not an ass to Dany, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, I got this idea after reading seven deadly sin fics for Jonerys week, Jon Snow is a Targaryen, Jon wants to be a Priest, Jonerys Story-Don’t let the tags scare you, Khal Drogo/Daenerys Targaryen (political marriage - mentioned in flashbacks), Ned had a one night stand, Ned is Jon's bio-dad, Rating Might Change, Romance, Slow Burn, Society looks down on bastards, Uncle Benjen is a Priest, Viserys and Daenerys agree on the marriage to Drogo, Viserys is King of Valyria, Viserys is not a cunt (I cannot believe I just wrote that), to form an alliance between Valyria and the Dothraki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-06-03 13:09:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19464667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cmyatt01/pseuds/cmyatt01
Summary: As a young boy, Jon always dreamed of running the family business with this father and older brother Robb. However, his stepmother, Catelyn, believed that as a bastard, he should have no part of the family company and did her best to distance him from the rest of the family. Jon found a purpose and home in the church. He feels called to serve, and what better way to serve than to become a priest. That is until one day he meets a silver-haired refugee. Will he take his vows to the Gods, forsaking having a wife and fathering children or will be for once follow his heart.





	1. Chapter One (Jon)

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea into my head. Let me know if you want me to continue this....

****

* * *

**_ Chapter One:  _ **

“To Mr. and Mrs. Robbert Eddard Stark!” Jon announced loudly, a bright smile on his face as held his flute of champagne high up in the air. He looked over the crowd of people gathered to celebrate his older brother’s wedding reception in the Great Hall Ballroom of Winterfell Castle. He then looked over at the happy couple and sincerely stated, “I wish you both a long life, full of love and never ending happiness.”

His speech was met with a roaring round of applause. He glanced around the room and his eyes landed on his stepmother. A scowl on her face, her blue eyes glaring daggers into his soul. She had not wanted him to come to wedding, but Robb was adamant that Jon was going to be part of his wedding whether she liked it or not.

“Thank you, Jon! That was beautiful,” Robb’s bride Margaery whispered, as she pulled him into a warm embrace. He could see the happy tears threatening to spill from the corners of her golden eyes. “I am so happy you agreed to be Robb’s best man. I know that this wedding never would have happened without you,” she stated as she pulled away.

“She’s right you know,” Robb affirmed as he reached his hand out. Jon took his hand, but instead of shaking his hand, Robb pulled him to his chest. Jon was careful not to spill his flute of bubbly on his dark grey, pinstripe tuxedo at his brother’s unexpected gesture. Robb’s watery blue eyes met his and softly but firmly stated, “This wedding never would have happened if you were not my best man. I would not have given my mother the satisfaction of ruining this day for me. If you had decided not to do this for me, we would have had to elope. I could never imagine my wedding day without you, by brother, my best friend, by my side.”

All Jon could do was nod. He did not trust his voice in that moment. He knew his brother spoke the truth. Jon recalled the family dinner, how his older brother had defended him after his mother stated _the bastard_ should not be able to attend the wedding, much less be the best man. _“Jon is my BROTHER! If you do not want my BROTHER - my BEST-man, to attend MY wedding - to be part of MY special day, you do not have to attend. You can stay in your room and feel sorry for yourself. I am tired of your pettiness. Jon is a good man. He is my BEST FRIEND. He would do anything for any member of this family. He loves us all but you are too stubborn to let the past go. A past that is not and has never been his fault!“_

“And I cannot wait until you finish business school and the two of us run Stark Enterprises. Together. The way we always dreamed.” Robb continued.

Jon looked his brother in the eyes. How was he supposed to tell his brother, his best friend, his mother had won - that he did not plan to take _his_ place at the company their father had built from the ground up. _‘I am not and never will be a Stark because your mother never allowed it. Father never forced the issue because of the guilt at his infidelity.’_

Robb gave his a quizzical look, silently asking him to share what was on his mind. Jon forced a smile, “I am just going to miss you is all. Not seeing you at school every day.” _‘Not a lie, just not the full truth.’_

He could tell Robb did not buy his statement. “Well, you are the once who decided to take summer classes. I still do not understand why you have decided to major in both business and philosophy anyway… You know, it is not too late. Why don’t you cancel those classes and come work for me this summer? I would love to have you there.”

Thankfully, before he could muster some sort of half-truth answer, Loras, one of Margaery’s older brothers, interrupted, stating it was time for Robb and Margaery’s first dance as man and wife, pulled the happy couple onto the dance floor.

When he turned to make his off the stage, he noticed Catelyn’s piercing gaze was still upon him. He tightened his grip on his still full glass of champagne and looked away, focusing on his feet as he stepped down the three stone steps and decided he would head to this seat. His seat at the table at the back corner of the room. The table furthest away from family and important business clients. He knew Lady Stark had been in charge of the seating arrangements, at first, he was bitter. ‘ _There are three hundred seats, surely there had be a seat closer to the family,_ ’ he had wanted to scream when he saw the final seating arrangements. He remained quiet at his stepmother’s pettiness. However, by the time Robb had noticed, nothing could be done unless they wanted to separate families or guests with their plus ones. _‘At least I can hide from her glares there,’_ he though sourly.

As he walked towards his seat, he looked around the Hall. It had been beautifully, and tastefully, decorated with arrangements of golden spring roses and blue winter roses in crystal vases as a centerpiece on each table. The only eyesore being the hunter green and gold rose banners of Tyrell Winery and navy blue and dark grey direwolf of Stark Enterprises hanging side by side above the rustic wooden doors at the entrance of the Great Hall. _‘I still cannot believe Catelyn found a way to make their love appear to be a business deal.’_

His head snapped to the side when he heard the laugh of his nineteen-year-old sister Sansa when the music the DJ was playing stopped. She was all smiles, laughing at something her boyfriend, Joffrey, had said. _‘He treats her so poorly. I know she only dates him because that is what her mother wants. Because he is the son of Father’s best friend and he will one day take over The Baratheon Corporation.’_ His other sister, sixteen-year-old Arya, was sitting across from Sansa, next to Robert Baratheon’s bastard son, Gendry. Both seemed to be pissed by whatever Joffrey had said, but were holding their tongues. _‘If this were not Robb’s wedding feast, I know that half of Sansa’s red hair would be in Arya’s clenched fists and Joffrey would be sporting a black eye from his brother.’_ His little brothers, fifteen-year-old Bran and thirteen-year-old Rickon rounded out the table, with Mr. Reed’s two children, Meera and Jojen. Bran had a light pink blush creeping up his neck _. ‘Joffrey must have been teasing Bran about his relationship with Meera.’_

“ALRIGHT EVERYONE! YOU’RE ATTENTION, PLEASE!” the DJ announced. The room fell silent. “Everyone turn your attention to the dance floor, where Mr. and Mrs. Robb Stark will be sharing their first dance as husband and wife.

People stood from their chairs and turned their attention towards the dancefloor. Everyone that is except his stepmother. Jon did not have to turn his head. He could feel her glare on the back of his head. He tried to run his fingers through his raven curls before remembering he had tied his hair back in a knot. He felt as though he were suffocating. He needed air. He needed to get out of the Ballroom.

A few minutes later, he found himself sitting on a stone bench at the top of the battlement, sipping his glass of champagne, overlooking a field of wildflowers as the sun was beginning to sink low on the horizon.

He was truly happy for his older brother. The oldest Stark son was starting his new life. A life his brother had dreamed about since he and Jon were young boys; following in Father’s footsteps. A life he had once dreamed of as well. However, his dreams began to change when he started high school. That is when he began to overhear the fights between his father and stepmother. The only thing they ever fought about was him:

_“Why must we send him to Weirwood Academy? I don’t understand. I don’t see why we should be wasting our hard earned money on your bastard’s education! It would be perfectly appropriate for him to attend Winter Town High.”_

_“He is my son! My blood runs through his veins Catelyn! And he will be treated as such! He will be given every opportunity I can afford. One day he will have just as much right to be part of Stark Enterprises as Robb and our other children! The company is growing and expanding, and the more Starks there are to run it, the less stress they will have on all of our shoulders! They will have more time to spend with their families!”_

_“He is not a Stark,” Catelyn seethed with venom in her tone._

_“If it were up to me, he would be! I would have given him my name the moment the social worker informed me of his mother’s death. But no, you were the one who believed he should not have my name! You are the ONLY reason my son does not have my name!” Eddard countered._

_“And he would not be here if that whore in Dorne had not spread her legs!”_

_“Don’t talk about Jon’s mother like that! I made a mistake. Do not take your ire out on Jon! Take it out on me! Do not hold him accountable for my sins or the sins his mother!”_

_“If you had known she was pregnant would you have left me?” Catelyn asked softly. “Even though I was seven moons full of your true son?”_

_“Never,” Ned deadpanned. “I love you Catelyn. I made a mistake. A drunken mistake when we were mad at each other. A mistake I have regretted every day of my life. I never should have gone to that convention when we were angry at each other. If was a mistake I admitted to you as soon as I returned home from the trip. My mind was full of guilt and regret. A mistake you had forgiven me for…”_

_“And then almost a year later you get a phone call in the middle of the night and I have been forced to look at that mistake every day since…”_

That night Jon ran away from home. He ran to the only place he felt safe. He ran straight to the Great Weirwood Church. Father Tyrion had comforted him and explained that the circumstances of his birth should not define who he was. That life would be more difficult for him because he carried a bastard last name. But that the gods did not care about a person’s last name. All the gods cared about were the actions of a person. That they held themselves with dignity and honor and selfless service. After that day, Jon found himself spending more and more time at the church. He became active in the youth group and bible study. He met one of his best friends, Sam. He finally felt a sense of belonging. He wanted to serve the gods.

He also felt a sense of duty to his family. His family needed him to help run the growing Stark empire. And up until last night, he had planned to be an active member in the church, volunteering and running bible study in his free time. The thought of what he overheard last night sent shivers down his spine:

_“Ned you cannot be serious!” Catelyn bellowed. “You cannot expect me to be okay with your bastard running the timber portion of our company!”_

_“Cat! Don’t you see, by allowing Robb to oversee hotel management and Jon the timber company, once he graduates, I will have less on my plate. I will be able to spend more time with you and the rest of the children!”_

_“Do you know what will happen… He will find a way to usurp you and Robb. He will take over the entire company! It is in his greedy bastard blood!” she spat._

Jon did not stay to listen to the rest of the conversation. He went to his room and prayed for guidance. He wanted to leave. To get as far away from Winterfell as possible. He wanted to go back to dorm at White Harbor University. Back to his friend Sam. Sam was always able to calm him. _‘Sam will make a wonderful priest someday.’_ Sam was the reason he was a double major. In order to be accepted into Hardhome Seminary, applicants must have a bachelors degree in philosophy. Sam was very knowledgeable, however he was fearful and skittish – he was afraid of what his father would think about the future he was choosing. So, when Jon offered to take the philosophy classes with him, so he would know he was not alone, it had eased his friends fears.

_‘A priest!’_ Jon had thought as he laid in bed. _‘Catelyn would have nothing to fear if I became a priest. If I become a priest, she will know that I want nothing but the best for my family. She will see that I am not a threat.’_

A hand on Jon’s shoulder and the weight of someone sitting down beside him pulled him from his thoughts.

“You if you squeeze that champagne flute any tighter, it is going to shatter in your hand and I do not think your brother would like his wedding feast interrupted by a trip to the hospital. I believe Robb and Margaery would much rather you be in the Great Hall celebrating their nuptials.”

“Uncle Benjen,” Jon exclaimed as he pulled his Uncle into a hug. “The service by the Weirwood tree was beautiful this evening. I was so happy you were able to come down from Castle Black to preside.”

Benjen chuckled as he adjusted his white clerical collar, “Weddings are one of favorites. Especially when you can see and feel the love of the couple. Robb and Margaery are perfect for one another. I know they will be happy for the rest of their days.”

“Aye,” Jon agreed easily. A smile force across his face.

“What are your brooding about lad?” Uncle Benjen could see through his carefully constructed mask without trouble. “As I said, there is a celebration of love happening in the Great Hall.”

“I would like for you to write a letter of recommendation for me,” Jon blurted out.

“A letter of recommendation for what?” his uncle inquired with a furrowed brow.

“I am going to apply to Hardhome Seminary,” Jon could see the look of confusion on Benjen’s face. He quickly continued, “My faith is very important to me. I feel called to serve the gods. I feel called to become a priest.”

“Jon this is not a decision to be made lightly.”

“I know this. This is actually something I have been thinking about for years,” Jon lied. “I feel at home with the church.” _‘The truth.’_

“Jon,” Benjen stated, tightening the grip on his shoulder and looking him in the eyes. “As a priest you take no wife, father no children. The church becomes your family. Are you sure this is what you want.”

“Aye,” Jon affirmed. “I never planned to marry or have children anyways.” _‘This is the truth. I have never once dreamed of having a family of my own. I have never given in to lust. Why I have laid with a woman. For the fear of putting a bastard in her belly. A bastard life is not good life for any child.’_

“I do not know if your father will like this decision. He always dreamed of handing part of his company over to you, for you to run one day. Have you talked to him?”

“No,” Jon admitted as he shook his head. “I was hoping we could talk to him together.”

“Okay, we will talk to him together, tomorrow before I head back up to Castle Black,” Benjen agreed. “But remember this Jon. Even if you study at the Seminary, you can change your mind. You have until you take your vows under a Heart Tree to change your mind.”

“Uncle, I have never been so sure of a decision in my entire life. This is what I want to do. What I am called to do.”

Benjen shook his head. “Come on lad, let’s get back inside and enjoy this party.”

Jon agreed. He felt lighter. He was confident he had made the right decision. He did not need material items. The church had saved him as a teenager. He wanted to spend the rest of his life saving and guiding others. He wanted to preach to others that they were all children of the gods and the gods loved them all……


	2. Chapter 2 (Jon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robb demands answers. Jon has breakfast with Uncle Benjen before telling his Father and Step-mother of his calling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support this story has received. This chapter turned out a little longer than I expected. Also, please let me know if you want Dany chapters before she makes her way to Westeros or if you want her story to start then and her time in Essos to be flash backs. 
> 
> I also changed some of the tags. That being said - This is in no way at all a Dany/Drogo fic. They will be involved in a political marriage, similar to Rhaegar and Elia. I will not write smut between these two characters because I just don't think that I have that in me, however it will be implied because I do plan to have Rhaego in this story (he's gotta come from somewhere). Daario hating tags are a warning because he will be a total douche canoe in this story (sorry if you like Daario, but I have my reasons in this story).
> 
> Please leave a comment and let me know what you thought about this section and if you want me to write Dany's time in Essos or just do flash backs when she gets to Westeros.

* * *

* * *

**_ Chapter Two (Jon) _ **

Jon woke to a pounding at his door and an aching head the morning after Robb and Margaery’s wedding. “Ugghhh… Too much champagne,” he mumbled to himself as he rubbed his temples, praying the room would not be spinning once he sat up.

“OPEN THE DOOR SNOW. I KNOW YOUR ASS IS IN THERE!” Robb hollered from the other side of the thick wooden door.

“Just a minute,” Jon grumbled as he pulled back the plush comforter and rolled out of the twin-sized bed in his small childhood room.

“I HEAR YOU SHUFFLING AROUND!”

“I’m coming! Give me a second. I’m getting dressed,” he retorted as he pulled a black tee shirt on over his head. He then pulled up a pair of black gym shorts and started walking towards the door.

“HURRY UP! DON’T MAKE ME GET THE KEY FROM THE MAIDS!” Robb called impatiently.

When Jon pulled the door open, Robb barged in. “What is it that you want to talk to Father about?” he demanded.

“Good morning to you as well,” Jon replied, still not fully awake, rubbing his temples in an attempt to numb his headache.

“Robb, calm down,” his new bride stated. Jon did not even see her enter the room.

His brother took a deep breath and started pacing. “Jon, I was walking past Father’s office this morning. He was talking to Uncle Benjen. He told Father you had something important to discuss with him about your future. That you wanted his support and blessing.” Robb took another deep breath, stopped his pacing and looked him in the eyes, “So I ask, again. What is it that you wish to discuss with Father?”

Jon felt his stomach knot with anxiety. He blew out a shaky breath. This is not a conversation he wanted to be having with his brother right now – he had wanted to speak with Father first. “Robb, don’t you and Marge have a flight to catch. This conversation can wait until after you have returned home from your honeymoon.” _‘Please don’t force this out of me.’_

“Bullshit!” Robb exclaimed. “You are part of my future. We are going to run Stark Enterprises together once Father retires.”

“Please, Robb. Not now,” Jon pleaded. He could see the look of concern on his sister-in-law’s face.

“Robb,” Margaery said softly, taking her husband’s hand. “Let your brother talk to your father first. The two of you can FaceTime once we get back from our honeymoon… Speaking of which the car is out front waiting to take us to the airport.”

Robb looked at his wife and gave her hand a gentle squeeze before turning his attention back to Jon. “The thing is, if you do not tell me this important life decision is now, I will spend my entire honeymoon worried about you instead of enjoying time with my wife.”

Jon raked his hands through his loose curls. He knew what his brother said was true and he wanted Robb to enjoy is romantic getaway to Tarth. _‘How do I do this? Will this break his heart?’_

“Please, Jon. Just tell me.”

“I have decided to…” His head was now throbbing. His heart was racing. He took a deep breath to try to calm himself. “I have decided not to come to work at the company when I graduate next year.”

“I don’t understand. What do you mean you are not going to start working at Stark after you graduate?” Robb whispered with a perplexed look on his face.

 _‘I cannot do this. I cannot break his heart. There is no need to tell him everything right now. I might not even be accepted into Hardhome Seminary. Nevertheless, I have to tell him something. I cannot lie… I just cannot tell him the full truth. Not until I know if I have been accepted.’_ “I have decided I am going to further my education once I receive my bachelors.”

His brother and sister-in-laws faces broke out into smiles.

“See Robb, there was nothing to worry about,” Margaery cooed as she playfully slapped his chest.

“Aye,” Robb chuckled before turning to Jon and pulling him in for a crushing embrace. “I am so proud of you brother. I am sure Father will support you. Now I want you to tell me all about it!”

“Robb, I don’t really know anything. I haven’t even applied to any graduate programs yet.”

“Come on! Tell me which programs you are interested in attending… There are excellent MBA programs at King’s Landing University and Sunspear Business College and The House of Black and White in Braavos. I am sure father will write you a letter of recommendation.”

Jon refused to have this conversation right now. “Robb, your flight is leaving soon. There is no way I would have time to tell you everything right now.” Before his brother could protest, he continued. “I don’t want to be responsible if you miss your flight, to your honeymoon in Tarth. You know planes don’t wait!”

“Fine,” Robb conceded. “However, as soon as you know something – as soon as you get an acceptance letter – I want to be the first person you call.”

“I promise… Now get out of here.” Jon stated as he ushered them towards the door.

“I love you, Snow,” Robb stated, hugging Jon once more when they reached to the door.

“I love you too, Stark.”

* * *

After taking some Tylenol for his headache, Jon went down to kitchens to find something light for breakfast. He was waiting on the toaster when a familiar voice called to him.

“Didn’t want to eat with the others?” Uncle Benjen inquired as he pointed toward the door that lead to the banquet hall.

Jon could hear the laughing of his younger siblings and the conversations as one of the servants opened the door. They all sounded so joyous. Did he want to eat with his family? Of course he did. He loved his siblings and missed them dearly. Weekly FaceTime chats did nothing to compare to evening meals around the table, where they would once around, one by one, stating what they were thankful for that day.

“Mrs. Stark doesn’t want me present in the dining hall with all the wedding guests still present,” Jon settled on, trying to appear nonchalant as he took his toast from the toaster and put it on his plate.

“And how does that make you feel?” Benjen pressed, placing a hand on his shoulder and looking him in the eyes.

Jon met his Uncle’s gaze. In disbelief that his Uncle would ask such a question. _‘It doesn’t matter how I feel. Everyone knows how society feels about bastards, that bastards do not have the right to be present during celebrations. That bastards are supposed to remain hidden in the shadows… All bastards except for bastards that are not born from infidelity.’_ “You know how I feel Uncle. I feel blessed. The opportunities I have been given in my life are more than a bastard could pray for. While most bastards remain in foster care if their mother dies or are sent to live with a relative willing to take them in, my father saved me from that life. He brought me to his home, he fed me and clothed me and made me a member of his family. He saw that I received the same education as he trueborn children and that I was given all the same opportunities as them. For this I am thankful – I am grateful, especially because society would have seen no fault if he turned me away.”

“You know Gendry Waters is in there, sitting with his family.”

“Gendry… you know bastardy is different, it is not frowned upon as mine. Robert had not yet married Cersei when Gendry was conceived – Robert is not parading around a child that was born from infidelity. Robert has provided for Gendry, but he has also not afford him all the luxuries he is giving his trueborn children. Gendry was not sent to the best schools and Robert has no intention of having him as part of the Baratheon Corp. Gendry has had to make a name for himself and he has done so with his Steel Art Work.”

His uncle sighed. “You father and your siblings love you very much and they do not care what society thinks about the status of your birth. Anyone who has ever met you knows that you are a good, just and honorable man,” his uncle replied sincerely. 

“Thank you, Uncle Benjen.”

“Now, do you mind if your old uncle breaks his fast with you before we go talk to your father about your plans.”

“Not at all,” Jon replied with a smile as he handed him a piece of toast. “I would love the company.”

* * *

A short time later, Jon stood outside of the thick Ironwood door to his Father’s at home office with his Uncle Benjen standing beside him. He stood frozen, unable to lift his hand to knock. His palms were sweating. He felt as though the toast he had for breakfast might come up.

“Are you ready for this, son?” His uncle inquired in a calming tone. When Jon turned to meet his Uncle’s eyes, he saw nothing but concern and compassion. “You don’t have to become a priest because of what society thinks of bastards. Your Father would be proud to have you helping to run his company.”

“I don’t want to become a priest solely because of what society believes of bastards,” Jon confessed. “I want to serve our gods. I feel called to help others and I feel that the church is the best way for me to do this,” Jon affirmed. _‘This is what is best for me and the Starks.’_

With renewed confidence, he pulled his hand up and rapped on the door with three firm knocks. Before he even lowered his hand, the door swung half way open. However, instead of seeing his Father’s stern but loving face, he was met with the cold, steely blue eyes of his stepmother. “Jon?” she stated tersely, clearly unsure as to why he had come to his father’s office. Thankfully, his Uncle cleared his throat. She opened the door further and when she saw his Uncle Benjen standing beside him, her face soften and a gentle smile spread across her face. “Benjen,” she happily said, “Ned said you were coming by before you left. I could not pass up the opportunity to see you again before you go. Please, come in - both of you. I had the kitchen staff bring up tea and pastries. I know how much you love them and the trip back to Castle Black is a long one.”

“Thank you, Cat,” Benjen replied as they walked into the room.

_‘Well I guess that explains why she is here. She does not care about my future. All she wanted to do was spend some more time with Uncle Benjen before he left.’_

“Jon, Ben, I am so happy to see the two of you before you leave,” his father greeted them each with tight hug. “Please have a seat,” he stated as he gestured towards the large Oak table that was used for business meetings. However, instead of folders full of presentations and reports littering the table, there was a pot of tea, _with three cups,_ and a platter piled full of lemon cakes and honey fingers.

Once they were all seated, there was a tense silence. Catelyn broke the silence by pouring tea for herself, Benjen and his father. She offered to send for another cup. Jon politely declined. He was not thirsty or hungry. His stomach was once again in knots. _‘Why does she have to be here? Why did Father tell her Uncle was coming by before he left? Why did he not tell her I was coming? She would have never set foot in this room if she knew I was coming. I am not ready to discuss this with her in the room. Maybe I should send her for another cup after all.’_

“Jon,” Ned said, pulling him from his internal turmoil. “Benjen said there was something you wished to discuss with me.”

“Aye,” Jon replied. His heart was pounding in his chest. He took a deep breath, _‘I can do this. This is what I need to do. This is what I am called to do. I will never be happy working for Stark. Society will never see me as a Stark. I am not a Stark.’_ “I have decided after I have completed by Bachelors Degree next year… I would – I would like to further my education instead of coming to work for Stark Enterprises.”

A beaming, pleased smile spread across his father’s face. “You have decided to get your MBA. Son, I am so proud of you. The first of my child who wants to further their education.”

“Ned, you cannot be serious! You cannot allow your bastard to get a Masters Degree instead of your trueborn son!” Catelyn exclaimed. “What would society think? They already think you are crazy for even sending him to business school! And they believe me to be a fool for allowing it!”

“Cat he is my son! My blood! Of course, I am going to be supportive of any decision he makes to further his education… Just as I would be supportive of Robb or any of our other children if they wish to further their educations!”

“Father, Mrs. Stark,” Jon called, getting their attention. “I do not wish to attend business school after I graduate from White Harbor.” He then glanced at his uncle, who gave him an encouraging nod. “I talked to Uncle Benjen last night. He has agreed to write a letter of recommendation.” His Father’s eyebrows furrowed. _‘Breathe Jon, you and do this. Just say it.’_ “I am applying to Hardhome Seminary. I feel called to serve our gods. I am going to become a priest.”

His father’s face paled. Jon watched as he opened and closed his mouth several times, but no words came out.

“Jon! This is wonderful news,” Catelyn smiled. She was quick to her feet and came around to embrace him, “I am so proud of you! I have always known your faith was important to you! You will be a wonderful servant of the gods.”

 _‘What? In twenty-one years, I have never done anything that has pleased my father’s wife. Has she ever embraced me before? Did she really believe so whole-heartedly that to take the company away from my siblings because of my greedy bastard blood? Has her mind really been that warped by society?’_ Jon thought as he awkwardly returned the embrace. “Thank you, Mrs. Stark. I appreciate your support.” He replied with an uneasy smile.

“Please Jon, call me Catelyn.” When he nodded, she continued. “I am going to head down the kitchen and have Old Nan make you some kidney pies for you to take home with you. I know they were your favorite growing up – Oh and I will make sure so send a boxes of sweets as well for you and your roommate to munch on.”

Jon was in a daze, dumbfounded, as she made her way out the room. _‘How did she know kidney pies were my favorite?’_

When the door closed, his father spoke for the first time since he had made his announcement. “Jon, you - you don’t have to do this.”

“Father, I know I do not have to do this. I know that you would support me if I wanted to come work for the family company, but this is something… This is what I want to do with my life,” Jon stated firmly.

“Are you sure this is what you want to do? You are still young. You do not have to make this decision right away. You do not have to come work for Stark as soon as you graduate. You can take some time to travel the world. Explore the Mountains of the Vale… Go hiking in the Riverlands… Go see the free cities of Essos.”

“I do not need more time Father, I am sure this is what I am called to do,” Jon affirmed. “This is not a decision I made on a whim or because of what society thinks of bastards. This is a decision I have been contemplating since before I started college… and after years of prayer and reflection, I have finally made my decision.”

Jon could tell his Father was struggling with his decision. He wanted to reach his hand across the table and comfort him. Let him know this was what he truly wanted. 

“Benjen, are you sure he is ready?” His Father finally whispered.

“Ned, I would not write his letter of recommendation if I felt he was making this decision for the wrong reason - if I did not feel he was ready. In addition, he will be counseled at every step and if at any time during his education he changes his mind, the church will support his decision.”

“Father, I promise I am ready. You just finished telling your wife, you would be supportive of any decision I make to further my education. This is the path I feel called to follow.”

His father nodded, “I will support you, son. However, I would like you to finish your business classes and I want you to know if you ever change your mind… If you decide you want to come home, I will support you in that decision as well.”

“I will finish my business degree,” Jon vowed. _‘But I won’t use it or return home.’_ “Thank you, Father.”

The three of them talked about what would be expected from Jon while at Hardhome and about the curriculum he would be following until it was time for Benjen to leave. As Jon stood to leave as well, his Father asked him to stay because there was something he wished to discuss.

“Jon, I want you to be honest with me. Have you decided to become a priest because this is what you want to do or because of what society… Of what my wife thinks about bastards?” His father inquired cautiously.

“I will admit, when I was younger all I wanted to do was run Stark Enterprises alongside you and Robb,” Jon sighed. _‘I guess I should finally tell him the truth.’_ “I have always known I was a bastard, that your wife was not my mother. However, it was not until I was thirteen, that I understood how society viewed bastards. That is when I decided I should run away from home.”

“What, you ran away? You have never run away from home.”

Jon chuckled. “I decided to come home after school on the last day of eighth grade, instead of going to Theon’s end of the school year party. I have never been big on parties. After putting my backpack in my room, I decided to come see you, here, in your office because I wanted to ask if I could work with you over summer break… However, when I got here, you door was open. You and your wife were arguing about me. About my high school education. She wanted to send me to Winter Town High instead of Weirwood Academy… So I ran away. I did not get very far, I made it to the church and Father Tyrion set me straight and sent me home.”

“Jon, you know I always wanted to give you every opportunity to succeed in life. You are my son and I will always treat you the same as my other children,” his father promised.

“I know,” Jon smiled sadly. “And I am grateful for your love and support. I know that after my mother died, society would have thought you were doing the right thing if you gave up your parental rights and left me in foster care. But instead you took me in. Gave me a home and a true family and wanted to give me your name. However, what I do not understand is why? Why would you bring a child into your home from a drunken one night stand?”

“How did you know that?” His father gasped. “I have never told you about your mother… about the circumstance of your conception.”

“During that same argument, I overheard your wife state that I was born to some who that spread her legs while you were at a conference in Dorne,” Jon admitted. “That you made a mistake while you were drunk. That you did not even know about me until the social worker call after she had died. Did you ever regret claiming me?” Jon inquired. His heard pounding once more.

“Jon… I… I have never once regretted bringing you into my home,” his father answered quickly.

He sighed in relief. He remained quiet because by the look on his father’s face, he could tell he had more to say, and that he was searching for the right words. Jon waited patiently.

“I will admit - I wish I never would have bedded your mother, but you are my son. I love you and I wanted you with me from the moment I learned of your existence… I have never once have thought of you as a mistake.”

This was the only time his Father had ever told him anything about his mother, so he took it as an opportunity to learn more. He knew he was born from a one-night stand. He knew that his father might not even know anything about his mother, but it could not hurt to ask. “Will you tell me more about her? Do you know if she would be proud of me? If she would be proud that I feel called to serve the gods, even if they are not her gods?”

His father looked as if he could use a drink. His grey eyes looked far away. “She… She.” His father was struggling.

“It’s alright. You do not have to if you do not want to,” Jon stated as he finally reached across the table and grasped his Father’s hand.

“I’m sorry son. I do not know for sure,” Ned sighed. “But I promise you, I will tell you everything I know about her when you graduate in the spring.”

Jon nodded and his father squeezed his hand in thanks.

“Well, I guess I’d better be going, my train is leaving soon and I need to finish packing. My classes resume in the morning,” Jon stated, as he stood, breaking the comfortable silence that surrounded them.

“I will tell you this,” His father stated, causing Jon to halt his retreat. “I am proud of you. I am proud of the man you are becoming despite of how you entered this world.”

Jon felt tears welling in the corners of his eyes. _‘I don’t recall Father ever telling me he was proud of me.’_ “Thank you, Father. I hope to continue to make you proud.”……


	3. Chapter 3 (Jon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon broods on the way home. Sam picks him up from the train station and tells him the breaking world news. Jon tells Sam of his life changing decision over dinner of kidney pies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not 100% happy with the way this chapter turned out. But I hope you like it all the same.
> 
> Please let me know what you think in the comments. Suggestion and constructive criticisms are always appreciated.

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**_ Chapter 3 (Jon) _ **

Jon loved traveling by train. Not only was it faster than traveling by car, it meant that he did not have to drive eight to ten hours, alone with his thoughts. He learned a few years ago that brooding and driving was not a good combination after nearly running off the road while traveling home for summer after his first year at White Harbor U. Thankfully Robb had been following him down the King’s Road and blared his horn, snapping Jon out of his daydream before he drove down the embankment. All subsequent trips between home and school have been in the comforts of a private cabin on the commuter train.

Robb always teased him about getting a private suite, _“You know Snow, the fun part about traveling by train is mingling with people at the bar in the club car.”_ However, Jon never wanted to mingle, he liked using the four-hour train ride to be alone. He believed these four hours to be a gift because he was able to be away from the judgement eyes of other and alone with his thoughts. His thoughts were always the same. When traveling home for breaks, his thoughts would be about seeing and spending time with his siblings and about how he would be able to serve the church. Then when traveling to White Harbor, he would be thinking about school – what classes he needed to take the next semester or what assignments were due.

His eyes focused on the pattern of the backrest of empty bench across him. The maroon and yellow flowers with hunter green leaves on tan backdrop reminded him of the wallpaper that had hung in the bathroom outside of Winterfell’s Great Hall as a child as he lost himself in his mind. For the first time his thoughts while traveling home were not about school and the summer semester classes that would be starting in the morning. They were about Mrs. Stark. His stepmother. Catelyn… and the conversation in his Father’s office this morning.

 ** _“Jon! This is wonderful news.”_** _She smiled at me… She has never looked at me without anger or pain in her eyes. She hugged me. She had never embraced me. She never comforted me. She would say nothing when every night at family dinner, when I said I was thankful for my Father, Stepmother and my siblings._ _Why was she being so kind to me? Is it because I will no longer be a face of Stark Enterprises? Or even in the shadows? If she actually took the chance to get to know me, she would have known I would never take Robb’s place or Bran’s or Rickon’s place at the company. She would have known all I ever wanted was a place I belonged. A place where I would be respected. A place where people cared about me and my well-being._

 ** _“I am so proud of you!”_** _All I ever wanted was for a mother to be proud of me. For my Father to be proud of me. He told me he was proud of me as well. Would she have still felt the same if I told her I wanted to become a soldier or a police officer or firefighter? Probably not, because none of those professions are permanent… Soldiers serve for a term. Someone can choose to stop being a police officer or a firefighter. None of those professions required a vow that you will serve until your death. Would my mother be proud of me if she were alive? What would my life had been like if she had never died? Would I have ever met my Father? My siblings? Uncle Benjen? Catelyn? Would I have chosen a different path? Would I have been given the opportunity to go to the best schools? Would I have had brothers and sisters? A stepfather who cared about me or a stepfather like Catelyn? Maybe no one would want to marry her because of me. Did she regret having me? Did she see me as a mistake?_

 ** _“I have always known your faith was important to you! You will be a wonderful servant of the gods.”_** _I found the faith because of you Mrs. Stark. If I had never overhead that argument between you and Father, I never would have stumbled into the church in tears. I often wonder how different my life would be if I never went to the church that evening. If I never opened up to Father Tyrion, there is a good possibility he never would have given me the advice that changed my life._

 **_“Let me give you some advice bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.”_ ** _Because of Father Tyrion, I became active in the church. I was able to prove to others that I am a kind and just person and they do not look at me as a greedy, power-hungry bastard. It still hurts that people outside of my church family, society in general, does not accept me. They will not take the time to get to know me. However, all I ever really wanted was for Catelyn to just, like me as a person. To include me as part of the family. Smile at me when I brought home straight A’s on my report card._

 ** _“Please Jon, call me Catelyn.”_** _Has she every called me by my name before? I do not believe that she has… She has always addressed me as ‘him’ or ‘the bastard’ or ‘illegitimate child.’_ Jon could not recall a time, before that day where his name had ever passed her lips.

He sighed and his eyes settled on the dark grey insulated casserole carrier and the two white pastry boxes, secured with thick, sheer silver ribbon, located on the seat across from him. **_“I am going to head down the kitchen and have Old Nan make you some kidney pies for you to take home with you. I know they were your favorite growing up – Oh and I will make sure to send boxes of sweets as well for you and your roommate to munch on.”_** _How did Catelyn know Old Nan’s kidney pies were my favorite?_ Jon asked himself, not for the first time that day, and was still no closer to formulating an answer. 

The cracking and hissing sound of the train’s airbrakes finally roused him brooding. Jon heard his phone ding. He took it out of his pocket and smiled when he read Sam’s message: _There are more people on that platform than were at church this morning. I am waiting for you in at the bottom of the stairs._

As soon as the train came to a full stop, Jon flung his black backpack over his shoulder as he stood up and opened the compartment door. He the balanced the two pastry boxes in his left arm before grabbing the handle of insulated casserole carrier and left the privacy of his private room on the train.

When Jon stepped out of the train onto the covered platform, he noticed groups of anxious people holding banners. Some stated, ‘Welcome Home Mommy,’ others said, ‘I missed you Daddy.’ He smiled as the service men and women reunited with their families and loved ones before making his way down the stairs.

“Wh - What’s all this?” Sam, stuttered with wide eyes as he gestured at the baked goods just before Jon reached the bottom of the staircase.

“Mrs. Stark… Catelyn, decided to send me back to school with my favorite meal and sweets from home,” Jon stated simply, as if this were a common occurrence.

“Oh,” Sam stated incredulously as he took the two boxes of pastries from Jon’s arm. “That was mighty kind of her. Were there leftovers from the wedding?”

Jon could tell his best friend’s mind was working overtime, trying to make sense as to why his stepmother would do something kind for him. Sam had known the Starks for nearly ten years and she had never once shown him an ounce of kindness either.

“I’ll tell you about it when we get back to the apartment,” Jon mumbled as he opened the back passenger side door of Sam’s late model tan Ford Taurus and placed the kidney pies and his backpack in the back seat.

“Why not tell me on the way back to our apartment?” Sam asked as he placed the pastries next to the insulated casserole container.

“It’s kind of an odd… long story,” Jon replied as he got into the passenger seat.

“Jon, we have a fifteen minute drive back to the apartment. I am sure that is plenty of time.”

Jon sighed. “Sam, I don’t think it is an appropriate conversation to have in the car.” _‘I know that is a pathetic excuse, but trust me. Please do not pressure me Sam. I don’t want you to get distracted and crash the car.’_ “I will tell you as soon as we get back to the apartment.”

By the look on his best friend’s face, Jon knew Sam could tell something had changed while he was in Winterfell. Thankfully, he also knew not to press. “Okay, but once we get home, I want you to tell me everything that happened at Robb’s wedding.”

“I will,” Jon promised as they buckled their seat belts.

“Oh, did you hear, the Khal of the Dothraki Sea and the King of Valyria are having some sort of summit?” Sam inquired as he started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

“Sam, that makes no sense. Why would King Viserys and Khal Bharbo hold any sort of summit? Valyria is a member of the ten free countries of Essos while the Dothraki have vowed to stay free of the conflict.”

“WNN has been reporting since last night that this is not true. They reported the Dothraki are allies with the Sons of the Harpy. That they have been for years. That they are actually partners in the slave trade!”

“Partners?”

“Oh, yes,” Sam confirmed as he put on his blinker and turned right. “They reported the Dothraki are responsible for obtaining many of men, women and children sold by the Masters in Slavers Bay.”

“Sam, this has got to be fake news,” Jon laughed as he shook his head in disbelief. “Half the stuff you hear on WNN or any of the news channels, local, national, or even world, cannot be trusted as the truth. The Dothraki have been neural for hundreds of years… They only fight when they are threatened and no one ever threatens them because the Dothraki Horde is the strongest military force in all of Essos.”

“I thought it was false reporting as well. But now, it makes sense.”

“What? You really believe these reports?”

“As much as I hate to say this, I think the reports are actually factual,” his best friend admitted.

“What? Why would you say that?”

“Because Spider News reported this morning that approximately twenty Valyrian children between the ages of six and fourteen have gone missing from the farming villages near the Valyrian/Dothraki boarder over the last two weeks. There are witnesses stating they were taken by Dothraki Bloodriders with assault rifles into the Dothraki Sea.”

When Sam said the report came from Spider News he knew it had to be true. It was known Varys Spider, the founder of Spider News, has a network of reporters, known as his _little birds_ in every city, town and village in Westeros and Essos. Jon had never known the Spider to report any false news reports. Spider News was the only news station that reported nothing but facts and was not affiliated with any political or religious organizations. Their motto is ‘ _Serving the Realms,’_ and Jon had never once seen or heard anything that would make him believe Spider news had alternative motives.

“If the Dothraki are taking Valyrian children, it is an act of war.” Jon finally stated. “Why would he be asking for a summit with the people accused of the crime? Why is he not calling his allies so they can begin planning military action against the Dothraki?”

“Everyone knows that King Viserys is a diplomatic person. He has stated multiple times he believes, everyone in Essos deserves freedom and a safe place to call home. His people believe he would do anything in his power to peacefully see that vision come to fruition. Maybe his is extending an olive branch.”

“Aye,” Jon agreed. “I just hope that the Dothraki and Valyrian can come to a peaceful resolution and that the children are returned to their homes.”

* * *

“So… Are you going to tell me all about Robb’s wedding?” Sam asked as Jon placed the dish of kidney pies down on the table.

“It was fine,” Jon replied as he sat down across from Sam. “The ceremony and reception were nice,” he added as spooned healthy servings of the entrée onto his and Sam’s plates.

“Come on Jon. You promised to tell me all about it! I am sure there were plenty of lovely girls that wanted to dance with you and your pretty hair.” Sam teased.

“No Sam, no girls wanted to dance with me at the reception,” Jon laughed as he took a bite of his dinner. His taste buds exploded as the plethora of flavors tangoed as he chewed.

“Ah… I guess they all wanted to spend alone time with you… So did you? Did you spend the night with a pretty girl?”

Jon nearly choked. “Seven Hells Sam! You know I would never do that!” Jon could not believe that his best friend had asked that, knowing how he had been treated by not only his stepmother, but society his entire life.

“Why not Jon! I am sure there were tons of pretty girls at the wedding! I mean look at you!” Sam gestured at him before he continued, “You are a good looking man… I took sex education class with you. Could you not remember where to put it?”

“I know where to put it,” Jon deadpanned before sighing. _‘Maybe I should just tell him.’_

“I don’t see why you remain celibate. Girls are always throwing themselves at you. Just like last summer, when we went on that mission trip to help replant the Haunted Forest after the great bonfire burned half of it down…. That girl with the wavy red hair... what was her name…”

“Ygritte,” Jon whispered.

“Yeah, that’s the one! She was drooling over you! Throwing herself at you! And you ignored all of her advances!”

_“Have you ever been with a girl, Jon Snow?” Ygritte teased as she packed dirt around the small Weirwood sapling._

_“No,” he replied as he dug another hole. He could feel the heat creeping up his neck._

_“What?” she exclaimed in disbelief. “A pretty lad like you probably has girls in line to kiss those plump lips of yours.”_

_“No… I have never kissed a girl,” Jon admitted as he placed a maple sprig in the hole he had just dug._

_“Let me guess… You like boys?”_

_Jon’s eyes snapped up. “No! I don’t like boys.”_

_“Then why ain’t you and that pretty hair of yours got a girl?”_

_“I don’t have time for one,” Jon stated as he stood up and ran his hand through his hair. “Between school and the church, I don’t have much free time. It would not be fair.”_

_“You know,” Ygritte murmured as she put her hands on his shoulders. She then pressed herself into him and whispered in his ear, “If you ever wanted to experience sex, no strings attached, I would be willing.”_

_The next thing Jon knew her lips were on his. He was momentary frozen in disbelief before he body subconsciously returned the kiss. When she removed her hands from his shoulders and made to remove his shirt, his mind snapped back to reality._

_“Ygritte, stop! We cannot do this!”_

_“Come on Jon, no one would know,” Ygritte said with a smile. “We are the only ones here. Don’t you want to know what it is like to be with a woman?”_

_“I cannot and will not do this,” Jon stated firmly. He took two step back and deep breaths to try to control his racing heart. Internally chastising himself for letting lust momentarily take over his mind._

_“Why not, Jon? Am I not pretty enough for you?”_

_He could see the hurt on Ygritte’s freckled face. “You are a beautiful woman, but I cannot do this. It is wrong. Sex outside the union of marriage is a sin.”_

_“It doesn’t have to be wrong. People have sex outside of marriage all the time. I am not asking for anything in return. I am just trying to help a friend.”_

_“I’m a bastard, Ygritte! And I vowed to myself years ago that I would never bring a bastard into this world. If I had sex with you, I would take the chance of fathering a bastard, of leaving you with a child you did not want… The world would look down upon you and that child. Life has not been easy for me. As long as I can remember, I have been trying to prove to everyone that I am an honorable and trustworthy person. If I fathered a bastard, I will just prove that they are right. Therefore, I will not have sex just to have sex.”_

_“You know nothing Jon Snow,” she spat before she walked off._

“It would not have been right. She was pretty and outgoing. She offered herself to me,” Jon admitted. Sam’s eyes widen in surprise. “I refused. I could not do it and any relationship with her would have been doomed before it even started. Besides, I did not want to dishonor her. I knew we would never have future together and I would have felt guilty for the rest of my days… All she wanted was a summer fling.”

“You mean to tell me she actually told you she would have sex with you and you refused!”

“Sam! You mean to tell me if some girl threw herself at you, you would have meaningless sex.”

“No, of course not,” Sam quickly admitted. “Besides, all of Westeros knows I am going to become a priest because my father has already announced Dickon as the heir to Tarly Orchard and Winery. At least your Father wants you to be part of the family company.”

_‘I guess there is no longer reason to avoid this conversation. It will be good practice for when I have to tell Robb. Sam will at least understand.’_

“Sam, I came to a decision while I was at home… I have decided I will not be joining my Father and Robb at Stark.”

“What?” Sam whispered in disbelief. “I don’t understand. You and Robb always talked about running Stark Enterprises together. What changed?”

“I talked to Uncle Benjen and he has agreed to write my letter of recommendation to Hardhome.”

“Jon, you cannot be serious! Why? Why would you give up your family to become a priest? What did Mrs. Stark say to you? This is not a decision to make hastily…”

“Sam,” Jon stated, ending his best friend’s ramblings. When Sam met his eyes, Jon took a deep breath and continued. “Sam, this is something I have been thinking about since I was twelve years old. You know that the church is important to me. That the church is the only place I feel like truly I belong.”

“But Jon, you have a supportive father and siblings that love you and want you to be part of their lives… Unlike my father, who shipped me north just so he would not have to look at me!”

“I know,” Jon agreed. “However, I need to do what I feel is best for me. If I went to work at my father’s company I don’t believe I would every feel… fulfilled. That I was serving my true purpose.”

“Are you sure Jon?”

“Aye, Sam. I have never been so sure of anything in my life.”

Sam sighed. “Well Jon, if you are happy with this decision, I am happy for you.”

“Thank you, Sam. Your support means more to me than I will ever be able to express,” Jon replied sincerely.

A smile then spread across his best friend’s face. “Let me guess, you deciding to become a priest is the reason Mrs. Stark decided to send home you favorite foods?”

Jon laughed. As they finished their dinner, Jon told his best friend about his weekend, everything from the wedding to the meeting he had had with his father, Mrs. Stark and his Uncle Benjen. After eating and putting away the dishes, Sam told Jon about the application process at Hardhome. Jon felt even more confident that he had made the right life choice……


	4. Chapter 4 (Jon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Jon's study session is interrupted by Breaking News from Essos. Jon receives a message from Uncle Benjen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter than normal... but it just felt like a natural place to end the chapter. The next few chapters will have time jumps. 
> 
> PS - I am not a philosophy major and have not taken a philosophy class in over 15 years. So the information for that area came from https://exploredegrees.stanford.edu/schoolofhumanitiesandsciences/philosophy/#courseinventory and Wikipedia

#  **Chapter 4 (Jon)**

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“Sam, I’m never going to grasp this,” Jon sighed in dejection. “Class just started on Monday and we already have an exam next week!”

“I know it seems fast, but the summer semester course are only six weeks and we have quite a bit to cover. It’s really not that bad once you think about it,” Sam replied kindly as he took a bit of his cheeseburger - ketchup and mustard seeping out and settling on the corner of his lips.

“I am so overwhelmed and you," Jon paused to gesture at his friend. "I do not see how you can be so calm. If we do not pass this course, we will not graduate in the spring. I have no clue how I am going to learn all I need to know about Gödel's completeness theorem before the exam.”

“Jon, please don’t stress, it will be alright. I am going to be here to help you.”

“How?” Jon stated he pushed his untouched plate of pasta to the side and replaced it with his laptop, opening the e-textbook for the course. He then looked his friend in the eyes, his voice small and defeated as he continued, “How are you supposed to help me understand when you are learning the information as well?”

“Well,” Sam stated sheepishly, looking down at his lunch. “I might have spent the entire week you were at Winterfell for your brother’s wedding either in the library, speaking with Professor Marwyn… He loves to talk you know and he is so smart. So – So I have a pretty good grasp on the three theorems we will be covering: Gödel's, Löwenheim-Skolem, the compactness theorem.”

That comment did not surprise Jon at all. Jon had found that whenever he went home for breaks, his best friend always stayed behind, reading or researching. Over the years, he had also learned to quit voicing his concerns to his friend because no matter what he said, his friend would continue to bury himself in his research. Asking Sam to stop reading books or articles in his free time would be like someone telling him he was not allowed to brood.

Jon sighed, and tried his best to calm his anxiety. When he first declared his second major as philosophy, he had only decided to take the classes to spend time with Sam because Sam had decided to take business classes with him. While he enjoyed thinking critically about the deepest and broadest questions concerning being, knowledge, and value, and their connections to the full range of human activities and interests he did not enjoy the theorems and learning about past thinkers. Before he decided he was going to apply to Hardhome, he would not have put much pressure on himself; he would have went to class every day and would have tried his best to pass the class with a decent grade. However, now, this was something that he needed, he had to be knowledgeable in this part of his studies. If he did not do well in his philosophy classes, there was a good chance Hardhome Seminary would reject his application. If he was not accepted into the program, he did not know what he would do, because he could never go to work for Stark Enterprises. Jon was thankful, Sam was there for him and willing to help him be successful.

“If you want to help me, could you describe Gödel's completeness theorem in the simplest way possible?”

“Of course!” Sam exclaimed as he pushed his now empty plate to the side of the small metal table. He then opened his laptop. “According to Wikipedia, _‘Gödel's completeness theorem is a fundamental theorem in mathematical logic that establishes a correspondence between semantic truth and syntactic provability in first-order logic. It makes a close link between model theory that deals with what is true in different models, and proof theory that studies what can be formally proven in particular formal systems.’_ ”

Jon tried to make since of the words coming from his friend’s mouth, but none of the words made since. Sam could have been speaking in Dothraki or Valyrian or Yi-Ti and it would have sounded the same. “What in the seven hells does that even mean! If that is supposed to be Gödel's completeness theorem for dummies than I am… Hardhome is just going to by-pass my application!” Jon exclaimed as he slammed his own Laptop shut in frustration. “I still do not understand why the school requires four units of metalogic to complete a major in philosophy anyways... I mean, how are we even going to apply these theorems as priest any ways!”

“Jon,” His friend stated soothingly. “You are going to get in. All you have to do is complete your course work and graduate. You will be…” A sudden dinging of Sam’s phone cut him off. Sam picked up the device. “Oh… It’s a news alert from Spider News! It looks like the Valyrians and the Dothraki have reached an agreement for peace!” 

Jon and Sam had been following the news closely for the week. It seemed that talks had been tense, and Khal Bharbo had actually vowed to fly back to the Dothraki capital of Vaes Dothrak if an agreement was not reached that day. “That’s great news. What type of agreement?” Jon inquired.

Sams’s brow furrowed as he read the message before he gasped.

“What is it Sam?”

“Uh… It is not what I was expecting.”

“What do you mean? They made a peace agreement, right?”

“I think maybe you should just read the article for yourself,” Sam whispered as he held his phone in Jon’s direction.

Jon took his friend’s iPhone and read the news report:

###  **Peace Reached Between Valyria and the Dothraki Sea**

**Valyria City, Valyria** According to our Little Birds in the Capital City of Valyria, after a sennight of deliberations, a peace agreement at the Great Valyrian/Dothraki Summit is expected to be announced during a joint press conference tomorrow afternoon. King Viserys III Targaryen of Valyria and Khal Bharbo Dothrak of the Dothraki Sea, have decided marriage as a solution to bridge their current disagreement and to establish a long lasting alliance. The King of Valyria, 26, is not an option for the marriage contract because he is already wed to Queen Visenya, 24. Their daughter, Rhaenys is also not able to fulfill the arrangement because she has not yet reached her first name day. Therefore, King Viserys younger sister, Princess Daenerys Targaryen, 19, will wed Khalakka Drogo Dothrak, 23. 

Terms of this union state that the Dothraki will release the Valyrian hostages, they will no longer pillage villages and will no longer sell people to the Masters of Slavers Bay. They will also provide military support to the Valyrians. It is noted that slavery is the top revenue for the Dothraki Sea, therefore they will see a severe hit to their economy. In order to help the Dothraki people, the Valyrians have agreed to establish free public schools and new technological businesses within each territory of the Dothraki Sea.

It is unknown if Princess Daenerys and Khalakka Drogo have met or if they will meet prior to their nuptials. My Little Birds have not heard an exact wedding date, but have heard all parties have agreed and the union will be sealed within a fortnight in the Valyrian Capital. After the marriage, Princess Daenerys will join her husband in Vaes Dothrak and begin work establishing schools for both uneducated children and adults.  


**_This story will be updated as information becomes available. LAST UPDATED 18 July @ 1209_**  


Jon could not believe what he had just read. He could not believe the King of Valyria, one of the most powerful counties in Essos, had resorted to traditions that had long since been abandonded. If he recalled his history lessons from Weirwood Academy correctly, King Aegon the Fifth had signed a proclamation nearly eighty years ago, stating that royals were no longer required to marry for duty, that they were allowed to marry for love. He also recalled that Valyria was one of the most technologically advanced cultures, always on the cutting edge and a platform for the equality of all citizens. _'Breaking the Wheel.'_

He then though about the Dothraki. Their culture once thrived on horse breeding – People would travel from all over to acquire Dothraki bread steeds and mares – they were the most robust, powerful and well tempered. However, with the invention of the automobile nearly 100 years ago caused took a toll on the industry. While Dothraki racing horses were still in high demand, people no longer needed horses to travel short or long distances. With racing making up only a tiny portion of the revenue needed to sustain their culture, they had to explore means to rebuild their economy. The country was poor and starving until Khal Bharbo took control about forty years ago. He was the one who decided to begin invading surrounding countries to steal children and young adults so they could be sold into slavery. Therefore, their army has become nearly unstoppable, especially when being funded by the Masters of Slavers Bay.

He placed Sam’s phone down on the table and uttered, “Wow. That is unbelievable. This goes against everything we have ever learned.”

“I know,” Sam replied. “It is as if King Viserys is selling his younger sister to the Dothraki, for an army to protect his people.”

“Gods Sam! What type of brother would go against the law set into place by his ancestor King Aegon the Fifth and sell his sister to a people whom are so violent?”

“Maybe he saw it as the only way to secure peace,” Sam suggested. “Maybe she wanted to marry him?”

“Why would she want to marry him? He and his father kidnap children and sell them into slavery! And why would he want to marry her… I mean no one truly knows what she looks like under her head scarfs and robes.”

“Jon, you know it is Valyrian tradition for maids to remain covered… And I have never seen an ugly Valyrian,” Sam chuckled. “And besides, maybe the princess agreed to the marriage. After all, the Dothraki are apparently agreeing to stop their barbaric ways. They are agreeing to cut off ties with the slavers. By cutting ties with the Masters of Slavers Bay thousands of lives all across Essos will be saved each year,” Sam continued with a shrug. “Maybe the princess is more concerned about the safety of the Valyrian people than her own happiness.”

“Aye, I suppose,” Jon agreed. “It just seems like a steep sacrifice for peace.”

The two sat in silence for several minutes, as they both began internet searches for any more information about what was now being called the Wedding of the Century. After a few minutes, Jon found a disturbing article.

“Sam, did you know, that in Dothraki culture and law, the concept of rape between married couples does not exist?”

“What?”

Jon then turned his laptop towards his friend, allowing him to read the article. The editorial, written by one of Spider News little birds, gave the story several Dothraki women, who had escaped their husbands. All the women stated they were raped nightly and feared for their lives. Apparently, they had gone to the authorities, whom informed them they were property of their husbands and there were no laws to protect them.

“Could you imagine, marrying someone because you felt as though it were your duty, only be raped repeatedly?”

Sam paled as he read the story. “I - I just don’t see how she would be agreeable to this match. I know nothing about Khalakka Drogo, except that he is a good fighter... And from what little is known about Princess Daenerys, she seems to have a good heart. She is always spotted visiting orphanages and children’s hospitals... She does her best to help those who cannot help themselves get to a point where they can again be self-sufficient.”

“That might be why she is agreeable,” Jon mused. “Maybe she believes this is the only way to protect her people and she will also be able to help the people of the Dothraki Sea at the same time.”

“That could be the reason,” Sam agreed. “But if I were her, I would never put myself in a potentially dangerous situation... I mean those women who fled to Lhazar said their husbands were going to murder them because they gave them daughters... That the men have the right to kill their wife if they do not bear them a son.”

“I honestly doubt the Khal of the Dothraki Sea would kill the princess if she bears his son a daughter,” Jon deadpanned. “If he or his son even threatened her, all ten of the free countries would come together to save her.”

“I hope you are right Jon.”

“So do I Sam,” Jon sighed as he looked back towards his computer screen. It was then that he saw he had an email notification. The familiar pit formed in the pit of his stomach when he realized it was an email from his Uncle Benjen. _‘This is it. This has to be my letter of recommendation,’_ he thought as he exhaled and opened the message.

> _Jon,_
> 
> _I have attached the letter of recommendation you requested I write on your behalf. I have faith that if this is what you feel called to do with your life you will be successful. You have always been selfless and put the needs of others before you. I love you and I will support you in this calling. I will also support you if after you begin your studies, you feel becoming a priest is not the correct calling for you._
> 
> _Love always,_
> 
> _Uncle Benjen_

“What is it Jon?” Sam inquired from across the table. “Did you find another article about the situation in Essos?”

“No,” Jon breathed out. “Uncle Benjen sent me his letter of recommendation for Hardhome.”

“Oh, how is your application coming along?” Sam inquired after a few minutes of silence.

“With this letter, all I have left to do is submit my packet,” Jon smiled.

 _‘This is really happening!’_ Jon thought. _‘Gods this is the right decision. I know it is. I would never be happy knowing that Catelyn does not want me at Stark. Uncle Benjen is right; I am selfless and put others before myself. That is who I am. Becoming a priest will give me the opportunity to help others and make me feel like I have a purpose. Why did I wait so long to make this decision? I have never wanted a family of my own; all I have ever wanted to do was show others that I am a good person. That I am a person who will put the needs of others first.’_

“So – what do you want to do first? Do you want to submit your application packet or do you want to get back to Gödel's completeness theorem?” Sam asked. “If you want me to help you submit your packet, I will be happy to do so… I sent mine about a month ago.”

Jon met his friend’s gaze and smiled, “Thank you, Sam. I do not know what I’d do without you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you thought in the comments 
> 
> Next up - Winter Break at the Starks


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon receives a letter prior to leaving for Winterfell for the Holidays. Robb picks Jon up from the train station and the two have a heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty dialogue heavy. I had originally planned more for this chapter, but this seemed like a natural place to stop. As always, please let me know what you thought about the chapter in the comments.

* * *

* * *

#  **_ Chapter 5 (Jon) _ **

Jon sat in the private cabin of the train, looking down at the still unopened letter in his hands. The letter Sam took out of their mailbox and handed to him just before they left for the train station. His chest felt heavy, his gut was fluttering with nervousness. His friend had asked him to open the letter during the car ride, but he could not do it – He did not have the willpower to slide his finger under the flap and pull the letter out.

_“You know, you will feel better once you open that letter,” Sam stated kindly as he turned onto the freshly plowed street._

_“What if it is a rejection letter?” Jon replied softly as he looked out the passenger side window._ ‘Not knowing feels better than rejection,’ _he thought as he looked at the blanket of white snow covering the grass and pine trees along the road._

_“Jon, I see no reason why Hardhome would reject you… And besides, it looks just like the envelope my acceptance letter came a couple weeks ago.”_

_“See… Our letters did not come at the same time. They probably send the acceptance letters then send the denial letters.” Jon snapped. He sighed before he softly added, “I’m sorry Sam, it’s just… if I was not accepted I will be moodier than I normally am, and my family doesn’t need to see me like that… Especially not during the holidays.”_

_“Jon, you sent your application packet in over a month after I sent mine… So in a way, your letter came quite a bit quicker than mine.”_

_“Because they were quick to know they don’t want me there,” Jon deadpanned._

_The car came to a stop at a red light, Sam looked him in the eyes and stated, “You don’t really believe that, do you Jon?”_

_“I don’t know what to think,” Jon muttered in response, looking down at the letter in his hand as he raked the other through his unruly curls. “But why should Hardhome be like anywhere else in my life. They probably took one look at application, saw my bastard surname and decided I was not worth their time – I bet they even read my application, and it they did, I doubt they truly considered it.” He exhaled sharply and continued. “Sam, you know the only reason I was accepted Weirwood Academy is because my Father made large monetary donations to the athletic fund – he practically paid for the new score board on the football field. He threatened to withdrawal Robb from the school if I was not allowed to attend. Then the only reason I was accepted into White Harbor is because my father one of the University’s top boosters and he is good friends with the University President, Wyman Manderly. Hardhome doesn’t care who my father is or how much money he has…”_

_“Exactly,” Sam exclaimed, stopping Jon’s rambling. “Hardhome doesn’t care what your name is or who your father is. The only thing they look at is the person that you are! I know they will see that you are a just and honorable and selfless man. They will see all the good deeds you have done at the church. They will see you hours and hours of community service you have performed, not because you needed the hours to fulfill a school requirement, but because you wanted to help others. They will see your good heart, Jon. They would be idiots not to admit you into the program.”_

_“I hope you’re right,” Jon exhaled softly with a half-smile. “I wish I shared your optimism.”_

_“Jon, what is it you always said about the church? Why the church was so important to you?” However, Sam did not give him time to answer. “You always said it was because you felt as though it was the only place you truly belonged. That the members of the church perish did not care what your name was and they welcomed you with arms wide open. So, why do you think that would change now?”_

_“Sam, I… I’m scared,” Jon admitted. “What if I am nothing without my father? I know I don’t have his name, but every opportunity I have been given in this life is because I am his son or because he has supported me financially. Hardhome does not care that I am the son of Ned Stark, they only care about Jon Snow and what I wrote on my application. What if they think I know nothing – that I am not what they are looking for, for the program? What am I supposed to do if I’m not accepted? How will I support myself if I do not go and work for my father and brother at Stark?”_

_“Well, Jon… If for some reason Hardhome didn’t admit you, we will figure out something. You could always talk to Gendry. He has become successful on his own.”_

_“Aye, I could,” Jon replied as he toyed with the edges of the envelope._

_“So… Go on and open the letter already.” Sam encouraged as pulled into an empty parking spot at the train station._

_“I – I’m just not ready to yet,” Jon stuttered, shoving the letter into the side pocket of his tan leather satchel as they got out of the car. However, before his friend could protest Jon continued, “Sam, as soon as I open this letter, it is real. I kind of want to open it when I’m alone, so that if it is a rejection letter…”_

_“Jon, I understand,” Sam interrupted as he pulled him into a brotherly embrace. “But promise me you will do it soon. I fear that the longer you wait the more broody you will be come,” he added with a chuckle._

_“Aye, Sam, I promise.”_

* * *

Jon toyed with the flap of the envelope once more. ‘ _This is it. Come on Jon, you can do this. Quit being a coward and be brave. Remember with father always says – “a man can only brave when he is afraid.”’_ Jon slid his finger under the top of the flap and exhaled. However, just before he opened the letter, his phone chimed with a Spider News alert. Jon placed his letter back in the side pocket of his bag and picked up his phone.

###  ** Khalakka Drogo and Princess Daenerys Expecting First Child **

**Vaes Dothrak, Dothraki Sea** – In a press conference that just concluded, Khal Bharbo announced his son and heir Khalakka Drogo, 24 and his wife, Princess Daenerys, 20, are expecting their first child this June. The Dothraki Khal went on to say the Princess completed the Dothraki tradition of eating an entire raw stallion heart and afterwards, the Dosh Khaleen proclaimed the child will be male and strong. 

King Viserys of Valyria released a statement stating he and Queen Visenya, who is expecting the couple’s second child in April, are “Over the moon that their child will have a cousin so close in age.” 

The royal couple has yet to release their own statement.

The Dothraki Khalakka and Princess were married in a private ceremony in Valyria on 27 July on this year, barely a week after their betrothal was announced. Since they have been married, the Princess has helped to set up multiple schools throughout the Dothraki Sea and is quickly earning the love of the women and children who otherwise would have spent their lives uneducated. It is has been report the educational programs spearheaded by the Princes Daenerys are already at capacity and the people are requesting an expansion. Khalakka Drogo is supportive of his brides ambitions and has been seen working with the people to construct more buildings for the programs.   


Our Little Bird also are reporting the Dothraki people are calling the Princess’s growing child, _"The Stallion who will mount the world.”_ This is because they believe their culture will continue to change for the better under the direction on Khalakka Drogo and Princess Daenerys.

** _This story will be updated as information becomes available. LAST UPDATED 24 December @ 1315_ **

Jon pondered what he had read in the article the rest of the way to the station at Wintertown. He wondered if the Valyrian Princess was truly happy in the Dothraki Sea – He knew that Valyria was a society on the cutting edge while the Dothraki Sea was more like a third-world country; the culture was just so different. From the article, he did not know if she is trying to make the best of the situation or if she was truly happy with her marriage. He could not believe she had already made such a positive impact on the lives of the Dothraki people and he could not deny she had a heart of gold. However, the lack of statement from the princess made him wonder if she was being held hostage; if her husband treated her as though she were only a piece of property. There had also only been a handful of photos released of the Princess since her marriage and unlike Valyrian tradition, her features remained hidden with a headscarf. It made him wonder if she remained covered for a reason. He wondered if she was happy about the child or what would happen to her if the child happened female, _‘Will Khalakka Drogo or Khal Bharbo kill her if she does not bear a son?’_

* * *

When Jon disembarked the train, he was surprised to see his brother, Robb, waiting for him on the platform. “What in the seven hells are you doing here?” Jon questioned as his brother pulled him into a crushing embrace. “I thought Dad was coming to pick me up.”

“What? Is it a crime that I would like to spend a little time alone with my favorite little brother before we get to Winterfell?” Robb asked incredulously with a teasing smirk plastered across his face. “You know it’s like a pack of unruly direwolves when the entire family is under one roof.”

“Aye, that it is,” Jon agreed with a chuckle before adjusting his satchel on his shoulder and following his brother towards the car. “Where’s Marge by the way? Is she waiting in the car?”

“No, she was taking a nap when I left,” Robb replied as he used to the key fob to unlock the doors of his Jeep.

“A nap?” Jon inquired skeptically as he climbed into car and buckled his seatbelt. He had known Margaery since Robb began dating his sophomore year on high school and she had always had endless energy. “I have never known Margaery to take a nap. Is she sick?”

“No, she’s not sick… I guess growing a child is tiring work,” Robb replied nonchalantly, as he turned the ignition and backed out of the parking spot.

“What?” Jon breathed out. “I’m gonna be an Uncle?”

“Aye,” Robb confirmed, smile beaming. “Our doctor just confirmed it a couple days ago. The baby is due in August. But don’t say anything, because we haven’t told anyone. We are planning to tell everyone at Christmas Eve dinner night… I wanted you to be the first to know.”

“This is amazing news! I’m so excited for you! And don’t worry, I can keep a secret.”

“We are pretty excited as well.”

“I cannot believe my big brother is gonna be a father,” Jon stated with a smile.

“I know! It still has not sunk in,” Robb said, still grinning like a fool. “We were not planning to have kids for a few years yet, but I guess the gods had other plans… However, we could not be happier.”

“So how have you been?” Robb inquired after the two had fallen into a comfortable silence. “I feel as if I haven’t really talked to you since the morning after my wedding.”

“I’ve been good… Just busy. Classes this last semester have been challenging and time consuming,” Jon answered honestly. “If it hadn’t been for Sam, I don’t think I would have passed my philosophy courses.”

“That’s understandable. I still cannot believe you are double majoring, but that had to have looked good on the applications to graduate programs… So, have you heard from any of the schools? I bet your satchel is full of acceptance letters.”

Jon suddenly felt anxious. In the excitement of Robb’s news, he had forgotten about the letter in the side his bag. Instantly, his hand reached down to the side of the bag, feeling for the letter and breathing a sigh of relief when he felt the corners of the envelope. 

“You did bring the letters!” Robb exclaimed excitedly, apparently not missing Jon’s reaction.

 _‘Shit. Shit. Shit.’_ “Only one letter,” Jon answered honestly. _‘Godsdamnit!’_

“Only one?” Robb queried with a quirked brow. “I find that heard to believe. Maybe they will send the letters after the holidays.”

“No Robb, I only applied to one program,” Jon answered softly.

“Only one! Jon, I know you are confidant but masters programs are competitive! Why in the seven hells did you only apply to one MBA program? Well you can at least tell me what the letter said. I am sure father will talk to the dean of the school if…”

“Robb, can we talk about this when we get home?” Jon begged, interrupting his brother.

“No, Jon – the minute we get home the wolves will pounce and I likely will not have a chance to talk to you alone. So tell me now, what did the letter say.”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? What do you mean you _don’t know_?”

“It means I’m a coward,” Jon snapped. “I’m too scared to open the letter because I don’t know what I’m going to do if my application was rejected.”

“Seven hells, Jon,” Robb stated, pulling over on the snow-plowed shoulder. “Give me the letter and I’ll open it for you.”

 _‘I have to tell him. I cannot dodge this conversation any longer,’_ Jon thought as he took the letter out of the side of his satchel. However, before he could find the words to explain, Robb took the envelope from his hands and ripped it open.

“Dear Mister Snow,” Robb proudly exclaimed in an announcer type tone. “After review of your academic records, essay and letter of recommendation, it is with great pleasure I write to inform you that you have been accepted for admission to Hardhome Seminary this coming fall...” his voice trailed off. “Hardhome?” he whispered as he met his eyes.

“Aye,” Jon nodded. “I have decided to spend my life serving others, like Uncle Benjen.”

“When did you decided this?”

“I have been thinking about it for years. I talked to Uncle Benjen after your wedding and asked if he would write my letter of recommendation.”

“Does Dad know?”

“Aye…” However before he could explain, Robb interrupted.

“Why? Why didn’t you tell me?” Jon saw tears forming in his brother’s eyes, his voice cracking as he asked.

“Robb, you were getting ready to leave on your honeymoon...”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“Aye, I just wanted to wait until I knew I was accepted,” Jon whispered. He met his brother’s tear fill blue eyes and continued, “And I didn’t want you thinking about me and my life during you honeymoon... but...”

“But what, Jon! Father always said everything before the word but is horse shit!”

“But I was wrong. I should have talked to you before you left… or at least after you got back.”

“Why didn’t you?” Robb barked.

“I was scared!” Jon cried, tears beginning to stream down his own cheeks. “I didn’t want to disappoint you. I know how much you wanted me to come and run Stark Enterprises with you. But that’s not me. That’s not what I want to do with my life. Society would never accept a bastard...”

“You mean my mother,” Robb deadpanned. “You’re doing this because my mother has never accepted you. Because my mother doesn’t want you there.”

 _Yes_ , Jon wanted to scream. He wanted to tell his brother everything was his mother’s fault. That if his mother would have never died, he might not have considered becoming a priest. That he would know what it feels like to know a mother’s love. “Robb, it is not your mother’s fault I’m a bastard,” Jon answered slowly, carefully choosing his words. “It is not your mother’s fault that she treated how society expected her to treat me. I have met other bastards through my volunteer work and at the church and I quickly realized I have had a much better life than most. I have been thinking about this decision since I was twelve years old. I want to make my own path and help others while I do it.”

“Jon, what are you talking about?” Robb stated as he wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes. “When we were kids, father used to take both of us to his office. We would always pretend I was the CEO and you were my right hand. You are my brother… You belong at my side!”

“I would never fit in at Stark. When we did go to the office, no one ever talk to me. However, whenever you walked into the room, every employee there would stop what they were doing and say hi or give you a sweet. They pretended as if I was not there, even if I was standing next to your or Father” Jon recalled. _‘I bet Robb never even realized that as children.’_ “I’m a Snow, not a Stark, and nothing will change that.” Jon replied sadly, as his own tears continued to trickle down is face.

“You’re Stark to me!”

“I might be a Stark to you and Father. However, society will always see me as a Snow and I am okay with that. I have made peace with it. I love the church and I love helping people. I know this is what I am called to do with my life – I am called to serve and help others.”

“Jon, you don’t have to become a priest to help others. Become a police officer or a firefighter or join the Army or become a teacher”

“I thought about all those options,” Jon answered honestly. What he did not add was that he did not choose those because they were not permanent commitments. That society, and his mother, would always see him as a threat to Robb and his trueborn siblings. “However, I did not feel pulled to do any of those professions. I do not like guns or fire or blood. I want to help people, teach them, make them know that they are loved no matter how they came into this world.”

“But Jon, you would never have a wife or children – you’ll never have a family of your own if you become a priest.”

“You know I have never wanted to bring another child named _Snow_ into the world,” Jon stated with a sad smile.” So, having a wife, a family is not something I ever dream of having. I will be happy be Uncle Jon to all the nieces and nephews you and Marge and all our other siblings decide to give me. I’ll be the cool Uncle, like Uncle Benjen. I will get to tell the kids stories of different service trips I have been on and teach them about the old gods.”

“You really have put a lot of thought into this,” Robb conceded.

“Aye, I have.”

“Well, I guess I am happy for you, and I will support this decision” Robb replied with a small smile as he reached over the center console and pulled Jon in for an embrace. “However, if you ever change your mind, I will support you then as well. Fuck society!” he added with a chuckle.

“Thanks Robb,” Jon whispered as he broke the embrace. “Your support means more to me than you will ever know. I love you, Stark.”

“I love you too, Snow,” Robb replied as he wiped that last few tears from his cheeks. Jon then saw his brothers trademark smirk spread across his face and a twinkle in his eye as he said, “I don’t know how your gonna break this news to Arya.”

 _‘Shit,’_ Jon thought as Robb started the Jeep and pulled back onto the road heading towards Winterfell.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next - Winter Holidays continue - Maybe dinner with the Starks?


	6. (Jon) - Christmas Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon speaks with Arya about his future. The family has Christmas Eve dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait between chapters, but I hit a bit of writers block, and worked on my other fics. I have also decided to rework where I was taking this story because I read the comments and love your feed back. I am excited about the decisions I have made concerning his story and I hope you all enjoy (I have removed some tags and will add more in future chapters)
> 
> Sorry for typos - if you see some please point them out and I’ll try and fix them 😁 (my phone is not letting me edit at the moment)

* * *

* * *

#  **_Chapter Six _ **

When Robb and Jon arrived at Winterfell Castle, a light snow had begun to fall the grey midafternoon sky and a crisp wind was blowing. The Castle had been beautifully and tastefully decorated for Christmas – Outside, the gray stone walls were lined with evergreen wreaths trimmed with crimson, black and white ribbons and each window had been filled with white, red and black candles. As he walked inside, the smell of cinnamon scented pinecones filled the air. He noticed Grand Staircase had a Christmas Tree on each side and evergreen garland trimmed with satin crimson ribbons flowed along the handrails and bannisters to the second floor above, while another grand Christmas Tree stood next to the roaring Hearth in the Great Hall.

“Where is everyone?” Jon inquired, surprised that his younger siblings had not been there to greet them when they walked in the door. “I thought everyone would have pounced on us like wolves when we arrived.”

“I believe Father took Bran and Rickon out for some last minute shopping and mother stated something about going to the grocery store with Sansa… I honestly thought they would have been back by now.”

“What could they possibly need at the grocery,” Jon laughed. “I mean, they should have everything they need in the kitchens.”

“You know how Sansa volunteers to donate homemade desserts to the soup kitchen every year for their Christmas Dinner.”

“Aye. Sansa has been baking for the soup kitchen Christmas meal since she was twelve. Your mother always has extra baking supplies brought in for the occasion, and they normally spend the whole week baking together, so I know there is no way the order was forgotten. Did she decided to donate to more than one charity this year?”

“No, she is still just taking desserts to the soup kitchen run by the church.”

“Then why does she need more supplies? They normally have enough sweets to last for a week.”

“I don’t know what happened exactly but somehow, Sansa was distracted and burnt everything,” Robb stated softly as they began to climb the carpeted marble stairs that led to their rooms.

“What?” Jon was perplexed. “Sansa is one of the best bakers I know – even better than Old Nan. She has never burnt anything in her life!”

“As I said, I am not sure what happened, but the entire kitchen was filled with smoke!” 

“Wow,” Jon muttered in disbelief.

“Oh – my Mother has planned for family dinner in the Private Dining Room tonight at seven o’clock sharp,” Robb stated as they reached the top of the steps. “She said she was looking forward to having the entire family back under one roof and at the same dinner table reciting what they are thankful for.”

This would be the first time he talked to his Father’s wife since she sent him home with lemon cakes and kidney pies after Robb’s Wedding. _‘Since I told her I was going to apply to Hardhome.’_ Jon wondered if she was really looking forward to having him at the family dinner table and if so, why? He still remembers the glare Mrs. Stark gave him at dinner last Christmas, when he said he was thankful for his family. He forced a smile, “I’m also looking forward to hearing what everyone is thankful for this year – Although, I have a feeling I know what you and Marge are thankful for.”

“Aye, and I know what you are thankful for as well,” Robb stated as he put a hand on Jon’s shoulder, looked him in the eyes and lowered his voice as he added, “And I would suggest you tell Arya before dinner.”

“Ugh,” Jon groaned like a child. “Fine, do you know where she is?”

“The last I saw here she was in her room, trying to wrap gifts,” Robb chuckled.

“Why in the seven hells would she do that! She hates wrapping gifts – she always gets them wrapped at the mall or Sansa will do it for her!”

“I know, but apparently Gendry teased her about it, so she is determined to do it on her own this year,” Robb said with a smirk.

“Now this is something I have gotta see!”

“Well you best get to it before she uses that fencing sword, Needle, you gave her a few years ago to poke those gifts full of holes,” Robb snickered as he removed his hand from Jon’s shoulder. “While you do that, I am to go and check on my wife. I’ll see you at dinner.”

“Aye, I see you at dinner,” Jon stated as Robb walked down the hall.

* * *

After dropping his satchel off in his room, Jon found himself standing outside of his youngest sister’s bedroom door. Even though the solid wooden door was closed, he could hear Arya swearing at the tape and wrapping paper on the other side. A smile spread across his face as he knocked on the door and called, “Arya, open up. I know you’re in there.”

“Just a minute,” she called just before he heard shuffling and cursing from the other side of the door.

“It’s just me sis… You’d better not be doing something in there you shouldn’t,” Jon chuckled softly - He could tell his little sister was trying to find somewhere to hide whatever it was she was wrapping.

“Godsdamnit Jon, I said give me just a bloody minute,” She huffed, clearly frustrated.

“Language,” Jon teased as he waited.

A few seconds later, the door flung open and his youngest sister was in his arms. “I have missed you big brother,” she murmured as she embraced him tightly.

“I missed you too little sis,” Jon stated as he returned her embrace. “But you’re gonna have to get down, you’re not as small as you used to be.”

“Whatever, I’m not that much bigger,” Arya scoffed as she released her hold on Jon and playfully hit his chest, causing them both to laugh.

After their laughter calmed, Arya invited him into her room. Little had changed in the three and a half years he had been gone – She still had the same, worn blue and grey plaid comforter on her full sized bed and the same collection _Famous Westerosi and Essosi Heros_ books on the bookcase next to her small wooden desk. Her room still smelled like old gym socks and Frebreze. The only real difference was the number of trophies on the shelf above her bed. Jon smiled at the sight of the trophies. He remembered all the years they would spend hours in the Godswood, as he secretly taught her swordplay and archery. The sight also caused him to recall how Arya had demanded he come with her when she asked Father for permission to join the competitions at Wintertown’s annual Tourney of Old the year she turned ten. In the end, Father allowed her to join the fencing and archery contests – she won both easily. And she has continued to win both trophies every year since.

“So, what do I owe the pleasure of your company, big brother?” Arya inquired from where she was sitting on the old office chair at her desk, pulling Jon from his reminiscing.

“What makes you think that I want something? Is it a crime to come see my favorite little sister before dinner?” Jon asked as he sat down on the edge of her bed, facing her. _‘Gods she always could read me the best out of all our siblings. What will she think when I tell her? Will she how that this is truly, what I want to do with my life? Of course, she will Jon. Arya understands you better than you understand yourself half the time. Just take slow deep breaths. Arya will understand. This is Arya.’_

“Well considering you didn’t even take the time to talk to me when you can in town for Robb’s wedding or FaceTime me since you returned to school, I thought maybe the title had changed hands,” she jested.

“Trust me, little sister – no one could every take your place in my heart,” Jon confessed.

“That’s good to hear,” Arya replied with a smirk. “Now, for real… tell me what it is you wanted to tell me. I promise not to judge you.”

 _‘This is it,’_ Jon thought as he took a deep breath. “Arya, I have decided that I am not going to work for Father and Robb once I graduate… I am going to graduate school.”

“I know. You are going to Hardhome in the fall.”

“What?” Jon breathed out in disbelief. “How? How did you know? Who told you?” _‘Robb is the only one who knows that I have been accepted and he just learned on the way here. There is no way he could have told her… and he told me I needed to be the one to tell her. The only other people who even know I even applied are Father, Uncle Benjen, Sam and Catelyn… Catelyn – she had to have been the one.’_ “Wait, your mother told you, didn’t she?”

“Jon,” Arya sighed. “Have you ever known there to be any secrets kept in this castle? I found out you were going to apply the day after Robb’s wedding. Then, I found out last week you had been accepted. ”

“How?” Jon muttered with a furrowed brow. _‘How was she able to find out I was applying? How did she find out I was accepted before I even received my acceptance letter?’_

“How what?”

“How did you know I was applying to the seminary?"

Arya chuckled. “Gees Jon, all I had to do was ask the kitchen staff what was going on when I saw Mother sending you home with food. She told the entire kitchen staff she thought it was wonderful you were applying to Hardhome – Apparently, she could not contain her giddiness that you had chosen your own life path.”

 _‘I should have known Catelyn would be blabbing about my future to anyone that would listen. So they would all know that I am no longer a threat to the future of her children.’_ Jon exhaled, “Why didn’t you tell me you knew?”

“I figured you did not want to tell us until you knew if you were accepted or not,” Arya shrugged before she deadpanned, “Besides, I’m not Sansa, I can keep a secret.”

The two siblings laughed. Jon loved Sansa, but she never had been the best at keeping a secret. He remembered for their father’s fortieth birthday, Catelyn was planning a surprise birthday party. They had each been given a task to help prepare for the party. Sansa, who had been fourteen at the time, had been tasked with helping to make batches of Father’s favorite peanut butter chocolate chunk cookies. Needless to say, she took a plateful to him to taste as soon as they had come out of the oven. When Father asked what the occasion was, instead of lying, she spilled the beans and ruined the surprise

“Okay… but how did you know I’ve been accepted? I literally just received my letter this morning. I did not even know what it said until Robb opened it for me on the way here.” Jon inquired after their snickering stopped.

“Well… I found that out purely by accident,” she admitted sheepishly. “I needed to call Gendry to see if he was done with a gift I asked him to make and my cell phone was dead. So, I picked up the house phone – I did not realized Father was on the line… and well overheard Uncle Benjen tell him you had been accepted to the seminary. I am happy for you, Jon.”

“Thanks Arya. Your support really means a lot to me,” Jon admitted as he stood from the bed and embraced his sister.

“I got you something,” Arya, stated as she broke the embrace. “Now sit back down, close your eyes and hold out your hands.”

Jon heeded his sister’s commands with a smile. He heard his sister shuffling around the room for several seconds before she stated, “I was going to give it to you after dinner, but now seems more appropriate.”

With those words, Jon felt a heaviness in his hands.

“When you open your eyes don’t laugh… Swear you won’t laugh.”

“Alright, I swear it.”

When Jon opened his eyes, it took all of his effort to keep a straight face. In his hands was a clumsily wrapped gift – Tape covering every inch of the Santa and his Dragons wrapping paper. The package was clearly a book. He smiled, _‘Arya knows how much I enjoy reading.’_

“I wrapped it myself,” Arya admitted quietly. “I chose the paper because know the story of Santa and his dragons was always one of your favorites.”

“I love it,” Jon stated, looking up from the package and meeting his sister’s eyes. “I almost don’t want to open it.”

“You had better open it,” Arya exclaimed as she playfully pushed Jon’s shoulder.

Jon then tore into the wrapping paper, to find a black, leather bound copy of the Bible. In the bottom right hand corner of the cover was a brass plate engraved with his name. Jon was speechless as he traced the Gold lettering and the engraving on the nameplate. He could not believe that his wild little sister had went through the time and energy to present him with such a thoughtful gift.

“Do you like it?” she asked nervously.

“Arya, this is perfect. You did have to do this.”

“Of course I did,” she countered. “Gendry made the name plate for me... However, I did write the message inside the cover to you by myself... Open it up.”

Jon flipped open the cover, and read the missive his sister wrote: 

> Jon, I am proud of you. I am happy that you have decided follow your heart and choose your own path in life. I always knew you were destined to do great things and to make this world better than the shite one in which we were born. You have and always will be the best of us. I admire you and one day hope I can also make my own difference in the world. – Love, your favorite sibling, Arya 

“Thank you,” Jon whispered as wiped away the tears that threatened to fall and pulled his sister into another embrace.

“You have always been there for me and supported me… You gave me my first fencing sword. I know this is not your first bible, but I could not think of a better gift to let you know I support you and your decision. I always knew that you would never been happy working Father… Just like I know that I will never be happy there – I don’t belong there either.”

“What are your talking?” Jon questioned breaking the embrace. He kept his hand on her shoulders, as he looked her in the eyes. “Of course, you belong there. You are a Stark.” Jon was dumbfounded at his sister’s statement. _‘Why would she say, she doesn’t belong at Father’s company?’_

“Jon could you really see me sitting behind a desk? Or representing our family at important or international business meetings? I would probably take Needle with me and poke ‘em with the pointy end when I got mad… It’s not me. That’s not who I am.”

Jon had to admit his sister was right. Arya was never one to remain in place for more than a few minutes and he could picture her attacking someone over a business dispute. “Have you talked to Father? You know he would come up with some sort of job that would make you happy… something for you to do that would suit you.”

“I haven’t talked to Father or my mother because it is not something I want to do… I can’t do it, Jon – I can’t work for Stark Enterprises. I need to do my own thing. I need to be who I am and not who mother wants me to be.”

“Arya, you know I will support you, but if you are not going to work for Father, what classes are you going to take in college? What will you do for a career?”

“Mother wants me to go to school, get my proper education but that’s not me – that’s not who I am. I can barely concentrate in High School… I am not going to college after I graduate from Weirwood Academy. I am joining the Royal Army. The recruiter I’ve been talking to believes I have what it takes to become a member of the Special Forces.”

Arya spent the next several minutes animatedly informing him about the training she would receive at basic combat training then at her advanced forces training. She also told him that Father and her mother have agreed to let her spend her senior year as an exchange student in Braavos and she is excited to learn the Braavosi style of fencing called _Water Dancing_. By the time Jon left her room, it was just after six, giving him less than an hour to shower and prepare for dinner.

* * *

It was quarter ‘til seven when Jon arrived at Winterfell’s Private Dining Room – He was not late but he was the last to arrive. As he walked in, he noticed the entire family was in the front of the room, gathered around the Christmas Tree near the roaring fire in the garland-lined hearth. They were sipping on eggnog and enjoying each other’s company.

His youngest brother, thirteen year-old Rickon, was the first to notice his arrival. “Jon,” he announced loudly, nearly tripping over his feet as he raced towards where Jon was standing in the door. “I’ve missed you so much!”

“I’ve missed you too, little brother,” Jon replied, embracing his brother. “You’ve really hit a growth spurt, you’re nearly as tall as I am,” Jon added with a chuckle, ruffling the boy’s russet curls after they broke the embrace.

“Rick! Let Jon into the room. I am sure he wants to say hello to the rest of the family,” Catelyn playfully chastised her son.

Jon could not help but notice the smile on Catelyn’s face as Rickon took him by the hand and led into towards were the family gathered at the fireplace.

The family socialized for a short time before making their way to the table when the servants began to bring in trays of food. There was a honey-glazed ham with pineapple tidbits, mashed sweet potatoes, green beans, sweet baby carrots, and baskets of yeast rolls.

Once every one had taken their seat at the long, darkly stained maple table, Ned silenced the chatter when he stood and raised his glass of red wine and began to look around the table. “I know we still have a couple days until Christmas, but as always, you all have decided to spend your Christmas severing dinner at the church’s soup kitchen,” his father started with a smile. “It’s not often that we have all of our children under one roof… now that several of you have moved out and are forging your own paths in life. Therefore, your mother and I have decided to take this opportunity to have our family Christmas dinner and as a chance to reconnect with each other. We will start this off by going around the table and stating what each of us is thankful for at this time. Then after dinner, we will tell the story of Christmas, just as we did when you were all children.”

“Ned, if you don’t mind, I would like to go first,” his stepmother stated as she put a hand on her husband’s wrist. After he nodded in approval, she continued, “As your father stated, our family dinners are becoming fewer and fewer. So at this time, I would just like to say how thankful I am that all of our children are under one roof… I still have the pleasure seeing of Rickon, Bran and Arya each day and I treasure being able to guide them into becoming honorable citizens of Westeros.” She paused as she took a moment to smile at her three youngest children. “This year has added a new member to our pack when Robb married Margaery. Also this year has sent my Sweet Sansa to the prestigious King’s Landing University to continue her studies, where she appears to be flourishing.”

When she paused again, everyone at the table looked towards their father, waiting for his next command. Needless to say, everyone turned their attention back to his wife when she continued, “I am also thankful for my husband’s second son, Jon.” She then looked Jon in the eyes. “Jon you have always been a quiet and shy boy. Always doing your best to stay out of trouble and helping your siblings in any way that you could – whether it was helping Arya with her fencing or Bran with his math homework or Rickon with his spelling words… You always have put the needs of others above your own needs. I know that I have never been a mother to you… A mother that you deserved to have because I cared more about how society thought I should treat you than actually taking the time to get to know you and I know that it is too late for that now. However, over the last few months, I have learned that what society says about illegitimate children is not necessary true. At this time, Jon, I would like to tell you I am sorry for my behavior. I know that I was a horrible person for not being able to love a motherless child and in the future, I would like you to know you can come to me for council. That I will be here for you. I want you to know that I do consider you to be a valuable member of this family.”

Father had taken his wife’s hand and placed a kiss on her palm. “That was beautiful Cat,” Ned murmured softly. 

Jon could feel his mouth hanging open. He quickly closed it. His stepmother’s declaration was so sincere and he knew she was honest – she actually had wiped away tears at the end of her speech. He began to fell slightly uncomfortable as everyone’s eyes were on him, waiting for him to respond. “Catelyn, there is nothing to forgive,” he finally choked out. “I have had a much better life than most illegitimate children… Been given opportunities most bastards could only dream about. My siblings have always been very important to me and I will continue to do anything I can for them until my last breath. You are part of my family and I am grateful for the opportunity to start a true relationship with you.”

“Thank you, Jon,” Catelyn stated as she got up from the table, walked over to where Jon was sitting and embraced him. “Thank you so much for giving me this chance.”

After Catelyn had retaken her seat, Ned looked at his youngest son with a kind smile, “Rickon, since you are youngest, why don’t you go next. Tell us what you are thankful for right now, then when you are done, we will go around the table.”

“I’m happy it is Winter Break,” Rickon stated with a beaming smile. “Oh… And I am happy that Robb and Marge and Jon and Sansa are all home.”

“I am also happy that we are all together under one roof… and I am thankful that Meera has agreed to attend Weirwood Academy’s New Year’s Ball with me,” Bran reported with a shy smile.

“I am very happy to hear that Bran,” Catelyn replied with a smile, “I am sure you and Meera will have a wonderful time. Did you know that your Father and I had our real date at the New Year’s Ball our junior year of High School…”

“Mom,” Arya groaned while the rest of the family chuckled, “We have all hear the story a hundred times. How you shared your first kiss at midnight and how you knew at that moment Father was the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with.”

“Arya,” Father called, “I believe you are next to share.”

“Dad, do I have to?”

“Yes.”

“This is so stupid… But fine,” she huffed. Jon met his sister’s eyes, trying to give her the courage to admit she was planning to join the military after high school. Although the glare she gave him return lasted only a brief moment, he knew she was not going to confess this to the family just yet. “I am thankful I was accepted into the exchange program with Braavosi Prep… and that you are allowing me to spend my senior year of High School abroad.”

After the family congratulated Arya on her acceptance into the prestigious program, Sansa informed everyone that she has decided major in pre-law at King Landing University, with hopes to one day be the lead of the legal team for Stark Enterprises.

As the family praised Sansa on her career choice, Jon felt his nervousness returning – his stomach was in knots and he contemplated getting up from the table and running to hide in his room. _‘Get a grip on yourself Jon. This is your family. They all cheered when Catelyn basically admitted she had been a bitch to you for your entire life… Father and Catelyn already know. Robb knows. Arya knows and they all support you. This is your life and this is what is best for you… for your family. This is your calling and will allow you to do what you love – help others and teach them about the gods.’_

“Jon, what are you thankful for at this time?” his Father stated, pulling his from his thoughts.

 _‘This is it,’_ Jon mused as he took a deep breath. “I am thankful that I have been accepted into my graduate program. I will begin studies at Hardhome Seminary in the autumn.”

“What?” He heard Sansa and Bran exclaim at the same time.

“What is Hardhome Seminary? What classes to they teach there?” Rickon inquired, confusion clearly written in his face.

“Well Rick,” Jon started, trying to think of the best way to explain this to a thirteen-year-old boy. “The church is a very important part of my life. Therefore, I feel called to serve others and the best way I know to do that is to become a priest.”

“Oh – Like Uncle Benjen.”

“Aye, like Uncle Benjen,” Jon replied breathing a sigh of relief.

“I am so proud of you Jon. This is such an honorable calling,” Catelyn beamed holding up her glass of wine in a toast. “You are a good man to spend your life helping others and guiding them in the teachings of the gods.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Star... Catelyn,” Jon quickly corrected himself with _a look_ from his stepmother. “The support I have received from you, Father, Uncle Benjen and Sam have really helped comfort me in my calling. I know that I have made to right decision.”

After the family had finished congratulating Jon, Robb took Margaery’s hand and they stood up.

“Well, I have so much to be thankful for this year. First of all, this beautiful woman vowed to be mine until the end of our days under the Heart Tree. Then, I have started working for Father… And well, finally… the other day, we learn the gods have bless us with a new life.”

There were audible gasps before a jumble of questions were thrown out.

“I’m going to be an Auntie!”

“When is the baby due?”

“Is it a boy or a girl?”

“A grandchild! I knew something was off when Marge went to take a nap as soon as you all came in.”

Robb then went on to explain that yes, they were expecting their first child. That the babe was due in early August. Finally, that they were not sure if they were going to find out the sex of the child, but that it they did, they would not be able to find out until about half way through the pregnancy, at the second trimester ultrasound.

Once the family finished congratulating Robb and Marge, Jon lead them in prayer prior to eating their Christmas Eve Meal. After everyone had their fill, they all gathered around the Christmas Tree for the telling of the Christmas story. 

Every year, as long as Jon could remember, his father told the family the story behind the celebration of Christmas – How over two thousand years ago, Saints Jon and Daenerys saved the people of Westeros from the demonic Night King. It started by Saint Jon uniting the all people of the Northern Territory with Saint Daenerys’ Essosi and Southern Westerosi armies. That by coming together, despite their differences, with use of her dragons and his Valyrian Steel sword Longclaw they were able to banish the Night King to the Seven Hells once and for all.

After the story was concluded, the family socialized a bit longer before retiring for the night. Jon went to bed lighter that night, knowing that his family supported his decision to devote his life to his faith.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Jon and Sam graduate from White Harbor U. Ned tells Jon what he knows about his mother.
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments.


End file.
